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[Friday December 11th, 2009 at 2:13pm ] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Office noises ] While this time of year can be quite amazing when it comes to generosity and the entire Christmas spirit thing, it can also be a sad reminder of just how shitty some people can be all year round. I spend a lot of my time every December at a few places here that take in runaways who have nowhere else to go. The weather gets cold, so many end up in homeless shelters. I go there to see if I can spot some kids who I've read alerts about and try to see what I can do for them. I always manage to find at least a few, and then I try to talk to them to get a feel for their situation and to see if there's a possibility to reunite them with their parents. With some, it's feasible. There are misunderstandings that get blown out of proportion, parents who say things in the heat of anger that they don't mean, and it's taken to heart to the point that a kid will run off because he or she feels unwanted. Anger has been the catalyst for a lot of tragic things throughout history, and that includes a lot of kids ending up on the streets because they don't feel as if their parents love or want them. When I find those kids, I usually have a pretty good chance of getting them reunited with their parents since there's still love there, as well as a desire to make things right. These kids just don't want to be the ones to make the first move, usually because they fear that they'll find out that they really aren't wanted and will be turned away. Then there are the really tragic ones. These are kids that run away due to abuse of one sort or another, and these kids don't trust anyone because they've been betrayed by those adults who should care for them and protect them. They worry that they'll be sent back home to be abused more, or that wherever they end up, they'll be treated badly. These are kids that are usually pretty easy to spot, just by looking at their eyes, which are usually filled with pain, anger, fear, suspicion, and/or any number of other negative things. They've been through hell at home, so it often seems as if life on the streets is a far better prospect. These kids can be very difficult to help, being too jumpy and suspicious to let any adult very near them. When I do manage to get close enough to talk to some of these kids, it makes me want to go hunt their parents down, as well as every single person who has ever exploited them. All kids who run away, regardless of the reason, face any number of obstacles meant to take away their innocence, and even their lives. I'm sure everyone knows about those obstacles, and you can imagine how difficult they can be to get past. The stories are endless, and sometimes I wonder if there's any hope for the human race. I don't know where this is going. I just felt the need to write something out about it. I need to go back to one of the shelters in about an hour to take a few boxes of winter clothing for the kids. I'm just waiting for the last donations to get delivered before I go. That will at least help the kids get through the cold nights when they have no choice but to spend them on the streets. This time of year at least brings out the desire in people to help in one way or another so more kids can make it through the winter. The donations are not coming in as fast or in the numbers they usually do this year, but that's not unexpected considering the economy. All donations are down since things are tight for most people, and that means the most underprivileged suffer all the more. If you have the means, I ask that you do what you can to help. There are homeless shelters that can use any donations at all, from money to clothing to food and other daily needs. Even one can of food, one pair of gloves, etc. can make a difference to someone in need. I guess I don't have to preach that to anyone who reads this. I have faith that those who can do something will. If nothing else, keep these kids in your thoughts. Every little bit helps. Spill -- Responses 1

[Sunday November 29th, 2009 at 1:45am ] [ music | Isaac muttering and pacing ] See me not be able to sleep. I blame Isaac since the past few days have been full of things that keep him awake, such as caffeine and sugar laced food and drinks. While Thanksgiving is always a big deal with this family since we like to eat so much, it does tend to have downfalls. Having a family that has such strong reactions to the two aforementioned substances always leads to an interesting holiday season. It was more of a bother when the kids were actually children, but Mikel, at the very least, likes to make sure that it haunts me still. Being the only one in the family who isn't strongly affected by the evil additives doesn't mean that I get to keep a regular sleep schedule. Mikel says he hates to see me left out. Isn't he a humanitarian? I'll be going back to work on Monday after catching an early flight back. Hopefully I'll get a decent amount of sleep before then. With football on all day tomorrow, I at least have a chance to catch a nap. That always gets Isaac's attention. I like to watch as well, but I think I'd rather make sure I get some sleep. We'll see how it goes. Thanksgiving was, for the record, a very good day. Mikel ate more than anyone else, as usual, although Markez did make a good effort. He has quite a way to go to match the abilities of his uncle, of course. He's still a kid, after all. However, the teenage years could prove fascinating. Isaac once again came close, and Alyce always makes a good effort. Charlie tries not to compete, although everyone keeps track anyway. He was right up there. I think Amber would have eaten more had she not been distracted by trying to keep Markez from, as Jim put it in a reply to Markez's last post, exploding due to massive food intake. Today is when Penny started to get into major backing mode as well. She got started with the pies for Thanksgiving, but yesterday I lost count of how much she actually made. Much of it went to the other houses, but there's still quite a bit here. Sadly, that will keep Isaac snacking on it, adding to the sugar thing, and on and on the cycle goes. Being married to a Denny with children who all inherited his weakness is never dull. Perhaps I should see if he'll sit down and make his update either tonight or tomorrow before football. It could be interesting to see him post while buzzed. I'll have to see what I can do. I can't promise that it'll be even close to as entertaining as hyper Mikel posting, but anything is possible. I need to find a way to get Mikel to post as well. I know everyone enjoys his sugar induced posts. I think I'm going to grab a midnight snack and then put on a movie or something. Maybe I'll get lucky and fall asleep watching it. We'll see. I hope you all had an enjoyable Thanksgiving, by the way. Spill -- Responses

[Sunday November 8th, 2009 at 4:01pm ] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Cheering about the Seahawks game. Becky can be quite loud. ] I'm a little later with my update than usual, but it's been very busy. Everytime I turn around, there's something else calling for my attention. I took this weekend to fly up here to Spokane to be with the family, and I've been helping Gayle and her family move. I don't mind that work at all since I can see immediate results and I prefer physical labor over other kinds. It's nice to be able to do more along those lines than just walk to and from my car. I'll be catching a flight back tomorrow morning, and I'm feeling better about that than I would if I didn't accomplish anything. Work has been hectic, as usual. I haven't had any big cases lately, just a number of easily cleared up ones. I think that sometimes I prefer the bigger ones, as difficult as they can be to deal with. Many of the smaller ones really don't even need the attention we give them since they're often the result of misunderstanding or someone blowing something small way out of proportion. Then there are the ones where the kids would be perfectly fine and out of trouble if the parents acted like they give a fuck. Sometimes even having one adult who will listen and understand makes all the difference in the world. The flu that's been plaguing people around here seems to be pretty much faded, save the inevitable fatigue that follows. A few got it very badly, and will take longer to get over that part. Most of the kids who were affected seem to have rebounded well, although Laura and Peter's son Joshua is going to take some time to get over it since he was hospitalized and in quite serious condition for awhile. He's being rather thoroughly spoiled, however. He seems to enjoy that. Now we have to get ready for the Thanksgiving holiday, which is always a big deal around here. I'll be coming up that Wednesday and staying until Sunday, so that should be a nice break. It will be interesting, especially with Gayle's household now being a little farther away. I'm sure it will be managed well enough, however. At least I don't have the responsibility of worrying about any of that. There's a bonus. That's about everything, I think. I'm going to go hunt up a snack now. It's nice to be able to relax for awhile. Spill -- Responses

[Tuesday October 6th, 2009 at 9:55pm ] [ mood | sore ] [ music | Nothing, although I'll remedy that at the hotel with some relaxing music. ] It took awhile, but everything's been set up. I have the rental car, and the insurance companies have been talked to and reports have been filed and the asshole is still insisting it's not his fucking fault. I did realize that I do have to replace my cell phone, however. I didn't even think about it until later, and when I inquired about it, I found out that it got thoroughly broken. The fucker can tack that on to what he owes me. I'm going to replace it tomorrow. We have no landline here at the house, so there's no way to contact me except via the computer. Actually, I think I'm going to take Isaac up on a suggestion he made to me through e-mail today and go rent a hotel room with a jacuzzi. I'm starting to feel very sore, and I'd like to minimize that as much as possible since I have a busy day tomorrow. Have a good night, everyone. Here's to a better tomorrow. Spill -- Responses 1

[Tuesday October 6th, 2009 at 9:00am ] [ mood | infuriated ] Today has already started out to be a shitfest. I hope that it gets better after this. I'd hate to think of how it could get worse. I'm not at work at the moment, but at home. I'll be heading to work soon, but I had to come home to change clothes. I had to change clothes due to some fucking moron who apparently thinks he can drive. He's sadly mistaken, and hopefully he'll get his fucking license revoked to prove it. I was on the freeway, not too far from the exit I take to go to work when this festering ball of pus who calls himself a human ran into me. He ran into me at such a speed and angle that my car ended up rolling onto its side. On the bright side, it didn't roll onto the top. However, it's certainly no treat when your car skids to a stop into something and you're looking down at the passenger side door. It wasn't long before there were people outside my car asking if I was all right and telling me that 911 had been called. Someone was telling me to hold on until help got there, but I was already getting my door unlocked to open it. I was not going to wait there for however fucking long it took anyone to get there, so I opened the door on my own and managed to unbuckle my seatbelt and pull myself out. Being strong is a useful thing. Of course, people were gasping and acting like the car was going to blow up just because they saw me pull myself out, and everyone backed up. I honestly can't blame them for that. Too many people have been sued helping people who have been hurt because something fucked up and the person was made worse because of the movement. I wasn't hurt, but how were they supposed to know that? I jumped down to the ground, which is no small feat in heels (yes, I should have taken them off, but I didn't think about it), and there was the asshole who hit me, standing by his not nearly so badly dinged up car wailing about how he'd just bought it a month ago and now it was ruined and shit like that. I deserve credit. I didn't go over there and rip his fucking face off. He was not the slightest bit concerned about my car or me, which more than one person who'd been listening to him confirmed. Hell, he hadn't even looked over toward my car. Nobody around him was very thrilled with him as he stood there like a big fucking baby because the front of his car was bashed in a little. When I say a little, that's what I mean. To make a long story short, the fire trucks and police showed up, and I gave them my side of the story. I didn't hear his side of the story, but I was told by one of the cops I know what the asshole had said. Apparently, the CD in his car CD player was skipping. Yes, that was the difficulty. He felt the need to lean over and pound his hand into the thing to try and get it to play right, and in so doing, his foot went down harder on the accelerator and he turned the steering wheel. Apparently he first tried to blame me for the accident, but when it was pointed out that there was no way I could have been responsible, what did he do? He started ranting about the car manufacturer. That's right. He decided to blame the car manufacturer for the accident and went on about how we should both sue their asses for making a product that fucks up and causes accidents because it "forces" people to try and fix those problems at inopportune times. Of course. It's an urgent need to have the CD stop skipping while you're in the fucking middle of the freeway during the morning rush hour. To do so is the only possible solution. Waiting is no option. I hope you all fucking understand this so you can write fucking letters to your fucking car manufacturers so they can fucking make sure their fucking CD players work correctly. My car is totaled. His car is easily repaired and still runs. He's still alive, which is some sort of fucking miracle at this point in time. I'm not guaranteeing his continued existence, however. If I see him in the grocery store or walking down the street, I may be forced to kill him. I'm sure he'll be deeply mourned. So here I am at home, getting ready to call a cab after changing my torn and dirty clothing. I have to use my lunch hour to arrange a rental for the time being. I'm checking the CD player first to make sure it functions correctly so that I don't have to get into an accident because I'm forced to fix it on the freeway. In fact, I think I'll get one without a CD player, just to be safe. Excuse me while I go punch the wall. Again. Spill -- Responses 8

[Thursday April 23rd, 2009 at 5:59pm ] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Penny and Ramon joking around. ] Now that I have a chance to sit down at this thing, I'm going to take advantage and make my post. I'm not sure when I'll get the chance again. We moved Bait back home from the hospital today. I went over to Gayle's to lend a hand, and Penny went with me to make dinner for everyone since nobody would have thought much about it with everything going on. She's always very glad to help, and now everyone is well fed. Well, at least for the moment. Mikel is there, after all, and so he'll be hungry again shortly. I have made a decision that I've been pondering for a little while now. I've had a nice long leave of absence from work, but I've decided that it's about time that I go back and get back into the swing of things. That requires me to leave here and go back home, and while I'm reluctant to leave everyone behind, I can't in good conscience stay away much longer. I hate to think of all the cases that got filed away or brushed to the side while I was gone, and I want to make sure as little of that as possible happens from now on. I called Walter and told him that I'm going to be back, which thrilled the hell out of him. I'm sure he was hoping that I'd decide to move up here for good and no longer curse him with my presence. Just the disappointment in his voice alone would inspire me to return if nothing else did. So for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be working on getting everything set up to go back. Isaac is going to stay here with Penny and Ramon, and I'll come back on weekends. I'm going to try for every weekend, but that probably won't work out as well as I'd like. If I'm lucky, I'll manage every other weekend. We decided that it's still best that I go alone since Ramon is settled into the school here, and those kids who set him up are back there and probably wouldn't hesitate to try and pay him back for ratting on them. Since as his foster parents, at least one of us needs to stay with him, Isaac will be doing that. I don't know when we're all going to be back home permanently. It's difficult to say. I'm not sure at all what's going to happen there. Ramon still has school, and Penny is thriving quite well there with everyone. Then there's the entire issue with Puppet, who is in no way ready to live on his own. There are others who can take him in, but there's already a lot of crowding in most places and he'd have to get used to navigating another place. Considering that he's still having emotional difficulties regarding his difficulties, it's a little much to ask right now to get him to readjust so much. We're going to just play it by ear. What this means is that you'll all be reading more from me about work related things again. It helps to get some of the frustration out on here, and there's always a lot of frustration, among other things, that goes with my job. At least it's never dull. Now I'm going to spend the evening watching movies with the family. It'll be nice to relax after such a busy day. Spill -- Responses

[Monday April 6th, 2009 at 7:01am ] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | The radio ] The weather finally seems to be picking up a little. It's a nice sunny morning, and it will hopefully remain that way all day. We're even due weather in the 60s this week. That's certainly enough to pick up one's spirits. I hope this means that we're going to stop having so much fucking rain. It would be nice to see the ground dry out and stay dry for awhile. People are slowly recovering from the flu. Some still have it, but a good number of those afflicted are feeling better. Markez is still feeling pretty shitty, but Puppet appears to be getting better. He had another bad spell over the weekend, but he's looking better. He doesn't let anyone go check his temperature, but he looked quite feverish before and now doesn't. I wish he'd let us take care of him better, but I can understand that he doesn't want to. Ramon spent a good part of the morning grumbling about having to drag his ass to school today. The first day or two back from having a break are always full of such things. Such is how it's always been, and such is how it will likely always be. Kids are fundamentally the same, regardless of the generation. It's hard to believe there are only a couple of months left before summer gets here. The year has flown by so far, although March did drag somewhat, for obvious reasons. This coming summer is also going to mean a trip back home with Ramon. It's probably going to be just a formality, but the state needs to check on his progress and there may be a meeting with his family. That should be a fucking thrill and a half. We'll see how it goes. They wanted to meet in late May, but I'm not taking him out of school to go deal with that since I have no idea where it's going to lead. It looks like it will be either late June or early July now, which is a much easier time frame. It will also help having his final grades for the meeting so they can see how much better he's doing, and I'm going to make sure to get statements from at least some of his teachers about how his behavior has been. I doubt that there will be any trouble or that they'll try to put him back with his family, but I want to be ready, just in case. He seriously doesn't need that. Now that I've dawdled long enough, I have to get to doing some things. But first, breakfast. Penny's making omelets, and that deserves my full attention. Spill -- Responses

[Tuesday March 24th, 2009 at 1:48pm ] [ mood | busy ] [ music | The television ] Flu season has jumped to close to the top of my list of things to hate. What a pain in the ass. Most of the people in my family seem to have avoided it, but some of the kids were not among the lucky. While Kendra is feeling better than she was, Markez seems to have gotten quite a bit worse. He even said he wasn't hungry and asked Amber to stay with him and let him sleep with his head in her lap. That... does not happen. So you can get the idea of just how bad he feels. Rafiq, on the other hand, appears to be getting over it already, and Ramon is doing quite a lot better than he was. He's spending his day sleeping since he wasn't getting much good rest while he was ill. Penny was lucky enough not to get sick, and hopefully it will stay that way. Puppet, on the other hand, is not doing well at all. We haven't seen him much since he started to get sick, and he tends to block his door shut so nobody will bother him. However, around eight this morning, we heard a crash, followed by a curse, and when we went down the hall to see what was up, Puppet was on the floor in the hall after having walked into a small table near the bathroom. He was terribly dizzy, and quite feverish, and while he protested as best he could when Isaac went to help him up, he couldn't put up much of a fight. It's to the point where I'd take him to the hospital to have him checked out, but he's not going to agree to that. So that's where we're at now. Hopefully this thing won't last much longer for anyone. Considering all of the people who interact around here, it's a wonder more haven't gotten sick. Hopefully it will stay that way. This way, we at least have a lot of helpers that pitch in wherever needed. I do have to count my blessings, however. This hit after my mother left. If she'd gotten it, just imagine how much more hellish it would be around here. That's not a pleasant thought, not at all. So at least there's something to be thankful for. I do hope she doesn't get it at all, since I'd have to feel quite sorry for her nurse. She's bitchy enough on a day to day basis. When she's sick, even the most tolerant person in the world would have a difficult time dealing with her. All right, I'm going to go check on Puppet and then do a few other things. I hope the flu manages to avoid those of you who haven't had it yet. Spill -- Responses

[Wednesday March 4th, 2009 at 12:12pm ] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Nat King Cole ] Now that I have a second to sit down and relax, I'll get this out of the way. I've been rearranging things to make more room, and getting a little early Spring cleaning out of the way. With all of the people who traipse in and out of here and occasionally stay, it gets rather crowded and overwhelming. Add to that the fact that Ramon can be a bit of a slob, and it gets a little too much sometimes. At least he picks up when I ask him to, but he was never taught to worry about such things with his parents, so he doesn't think of it. I try to avoid even looking in his room when possible. Penny, on the other hand, learned at an early age to be neat and orderly, so there's never any problem with her there. It's nice that she is, but I wish she'd learned it in a less cruel atmosphere. Isaac's over at Gayle's house checking it out. Since their basement is flooded, due to a crack in the foundation according to John, Isaac wants to see how bad it is and what can be done about it. I swear that he almost perked when he found out what was going on. It gives him something to do, so it's all worthwhile. The more he gets to do along those lines, the happier he is. It also helps that he's working with his hands and that's better therapy than any exercises the physical therapist gives him. It will be a great day when he can go back to doing what he loves and running his own business once more. He'll be very happy, and that will pass on to the rest of us. It will be strange getting used to being home again instead of here, but I'm looking forward to it. No offense to anyone here, but I prefer home. We've had that house for many years, and I miss it. I went to visit Bait in the hospital yesterday, and I stayed for almost two hours. Gayle's been needing a lot of rest since she's feeling quite shitty, so everyone's been working to make sure Bait always has someone there and alert to talk to him or be there if he needs it. Gayle goes everyday, but ends up crashing on one of the chairs in there since she's worn out from everything. It's good to see Bait doing better, but his mental state is quite a worry for us. He's not the most pain tolerant person in the world, and the idea of a long recovery is bothering him quite a lot. Also, the fact that he may have some serious permanent damage to his left shoulder is dragging him down quite a lot. It's not easy to keep him from drifting into depression, but we're doing what we can. At least the kids are good at helping. Madison is very attention and cuddly, and Tackle's kids are always doing what they can to keep Bait's spirits up. Hopefully he can go home soon. I think that will help him quite a lot with his attitude. All right, it's lunchtime now and then I want to do some more cleaning. Isaac should be back soon to plot and plan how to help fix Gayle's problem, and I'm quite looking forward to watching him flip through books and type in ideas and all that. Spill -- Responses

[Tuesday February 24th, 2009 at 5:53am ] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | Penny humming. Again. It's becoming a habit. ] It's good to be home. Alyce and I got in late Sunday after a harrowing few days helping make sure everything was settled with my mother. I had to interview nurses to come in, and a caretaker to watch over her house and do things there that need to be done. She resisted everything every step of the way, of course. Nothing was good enough for her, and it was all very frustrating. After interviewing thirteen nurses, I finally found one who was perfect. I considered hiring one with a personality much like Alyce's to make my mother happy, but I discarded the idea quickly as not being feasible. She needs a firm hand, and that's not something Alyce and those like her have in great quantity. The woman I hired is in her fifties, and very stern. She's very much a no nonsense person, and will not put up with shit. I talked to a few of her former employers, and they all verified that this nurse will not let her get away with anything and will make sure she doesn't push herself too much. I'm not too worried about her doing her physical therapy since she wants to be independent again, but I do have to worry about her pushing it too hard in an attempt to be independent faster. Sounds like Mikel in that way, doesn't she? Coming home was quite a big relief. I took yesterday to just relax and de-stress. Penny made me a wonderful dinner, and we watched movies a good part of the night. It was all quite satisfying and nice. I can only take so much peace and quiet, however. Too much and I'd start to go stir crazy. There. I just thought people might want to see how it went, so there it is. I hope everyone is having a decent week. I'd say good, but those days seem to be few and far between these days. Hopefully it's easier for all of you than for us here. Spill -- Responses

[Wednesday February 18th, 2009 at 6:53am ] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Isaac flipping channels. Men. ] Tomorrow is the big day that we've all been looking forward to for some time. We have a flight back with my mother in the morning, and she'll be out of everyone's hair again. Well, out of everyone's hair but mine since I'll be going with her. Alyce is going as well, but she's never in Alyce's hair, so to speak. We'll be there probably until Sunday getting her settled in and making arrangements for the home nursing and everything else that needs to be done. I'm hoping it doesn't go any longer than that, but I've learned never to count on things when you really want something to happen. Traveling in the plane is not going to be pleasant, as usual, and the entire time there is going to be one big ball of stress. But at least she won't be here anymore. I keep telling myself that, and hopefully that will help the stress stay back. She's been an even worse pain in the ass since Freebase and Magnum went to trial and then to jail, crowing about how right she's been all along about "those people." The Rippers have stayed away from her since then, and I don't blame them. They put up with a lot before that in helping to watch over her and helping out around there, but this is far too much. They're not a happy bunch, and she'd make things even worse on them. In other news, Penny's been nothing but smiles since Valentine's Day. She still hasn't said much about the date except that it was "so nice" and that "Duante's so sweet" and things of that nature. She's adorable when she's like this, and it's nice to see her so light and happy. She's called Duante on the phone two or three times, although they haven't talked for too long. Neither one is much into the phone. She has, however, been to visit him several times, and he's been over here a few times as well. Things are working out quite nicely there, I think. It's very nice to see. I think there will be more dates in the future. In fact, I'm sure of it. It's a big relief to everyone that Bait's doing better, and that's helped make everything a little lighter around here. I know he's having a tough time dealing with everything, and it's likely to stay that way for quite some time, but he's going to live, and that's obviously very important. We'll all be here for him whenever he needs us, and I'm hoping that he manages this better than we suspect he will. With all he's been through in his short life, he at least keeps coming through it all. He's a fighter, and that will help him through it. We're going to be keeping somewhat of a close eye on Mikel now as well. With the stress of Bait's problems relieving somewhat, there's a good chance that Mikel will stop being so leveled off and start to plunge deeper into his unpleasant mental state again. Since he's with Gayle most of the time now, she's being particularly intent on watching for any changes. It's not easy when he hides things so well sometimes, but I trust she knows him well enough to know when it's getting bad. I just wish I knew what to do when it does get bad. It will, I'm certain of it. I just have no idea what to do about it, and he's not communicating at all. At least before, he'd write in his Livejournal and at least give us a glimpse into things, but with him refusing to do even that now in order to spare as many people as possible from his mood, it's going to be even harder. He's certainly not going to want to add to Gayle's stress since she's dealing with Bait and worrying about him as well as the pair stuck in jail, so that cuts off his communication quite effectively since he just doesn't talk to anyone else. Quite frustrating. Enough of that, I think. I need to get some packing done so I'll be ready tomorrow, and I'm going to have to go later to make sure everything is ready for my mother to leave as well. I'm also going grocery shopping to make sure we're fully stocked so nobody has to worry about that while I'm gone. They're lucky I'm so helpful. Isaac hates grocery shopping, and Penny hates doing it alone. She always worries about spending money. It's much easier to do it this way. Spill -- Responses

[Monday February 2nd, 2009 at 5:19am ] [ mood | irate ] [ music | Someone snoring. I have no idea who. ] Today is the day that Freebase and Magnum get sentenced. Nobody's looking forward to this at all. Hopefully the judge will have a sense of fairness, but you can never count on that. That's especially true with certain people, and documented gang members are included in that. The sentencing hearing is at one. It shouldn't take too long. This is just so fucking bogus. I'm still pissed about the verdict, even if I did expect it. I'd like to meet the so-called victim and give her a piece of my mind. Damn bitch has some fucking nerve doing that. I'm sure she set that shit up, but I have no way to prove it. Only a confession on her part would do it, and the chances of that are extremely slim. I don't count anything out, however. There are people who are determined to make this right. For however long the pair is stuck in jail, they'll hopefully be able to avoid trouble there. Freebase tends to look for trouble sometimes, but I'm not sure he'll do that there. He's very discouraged right now, and with his health the way it is, that's just adding to it. I don't think it's going to be easy at all on him there, either emotionally or physically. Hopefully he and Magnum will be able to interact regularly without any trouble. That could help. Magnum being the one keeping Freebase's mood from falling too far is a strange thought. Freebase usually fills that role with people. We'll see how it goes. Often those places will do what they can to minimize interaction between people who have been in gangs together for fear that they'll pull shit. There's also the worry of other prisoners who are gang members targeting them or even guards, who sometimes tend to enjoy badgering and harassing some prisoners. I don't know how bad the situation is here, but I know back home it could be a very problematic at times. Only time will tell, I suppose. Bait's still doing badly. Hopefully he'll get a break here soon. I think this is hitting me harder than it might otherwise since I was in from the beginning on getting Bait with his new family. I introduced he and Gayle and got all of that started, and so I feel very close to the situation. I'm worried sick about him. I remember visiting him in the hospital back when he was beaten by the Romans. It was so hard on him. He was trying hard to be brave, but the whole thing fucked him up pretty badly, emotionally as well as physically. I visited him quite a number of times while he was there, and while the pain was terrible on him, the entire ordeal left such a scar on his psyche that he's still not completely recovered from it. With this new situation, I'm just very worried about how he's going to come out of it. He's going to need a lot of rehabilitation all the way around. It's going to be very hard to watch. As Isaac said in his last entry, Mikel's been concentrating on Gayle's situation and trying not to dwell on his own difficulties. It's all taking a toll on him, but he's not going to give himself any time until Gayle's on a more even keel. Hopefully that won't set him back too far. This whole situation just fucking sucks. All right, enough dwelling on that for now. I need to go pick up some things at the store so we can have an actual breakfast. After the Superbowl yesterday, our refrigerator and cupboards were picked almost clean, and that's not a common thing in the Denny household. Even though we didn't watch it here, we have a few visitors who came up for it as well as some Wolves who have been split up between households since they all want to be here for Bait. I need to win the lottery to feed all of these people, it seems. I'm sure someone will pass on what happens at the sentencing hearing. I'm not sure if it will be the Pantheon or not, but it might not get past them today just to warn anyone who doesn't read their Livejournal. If you don't and you're curious, just ask and someone will let you know. Spill -- Responses

[Tuesday January 20th, 2009 at 9:17pm ] [ mood | proud ] [ music | Music coming a little too loudly from Ramon's room ] It's getting close to the end of an historic day, and it's been interesting. I was very impressed with President OBama's Inaugural address, and I'm glad that he seems to have a great number of people believing in him. He's going to need that, and he's going to need people to start realizing that he's just a human being and so isn't going to be able to solve the world's problems at the drop of a hat. He's a man, and likely to make mistakes, just like anyone else. But I think he does have the best interests of us all in his heart, and that's important. I keep hearing from people that it isn't a race thing, and we shouldn't make it into one. No, it's not a race thing, at least not overall. But it is in part. Of course, his race doesn't determine how good a president he'll be. But it does really mean something. It's a sign of America taking the next step toward racial equality. It's a big step, and honestly, I wasn't sure if it was a possible one for the country to take right now. I'm glad I was proven wrong there. For those of us having grown up during the Civil Rights Era, it's overwhelming. A black man is the president. If someone had told us that would happen so soon when I was a child, people would've laughed in that person's face. Back then it seemed such a faraway dream for blacks to even be given the chance for equal rights with employment, housing, what have you. But president? That wasn't going to happen a mere forty, fifty, or even sixty years in the future then. Surprise. My father would be a very happy man right now. And it isn't because he's black that we're glad, although that demonstrates the strides we've made as a country. It's because he's black and has the potential to be a great president. I wouldn't be happy with a black George Bush. It's not his skin color that people saw so much as his ability to be what we all need. He's a competent politician who cares and wants to initiate change who just happens to be black. Certainly there were those who voted for him just because of his skin color, just as there were people who voted for McCain because of his skin color. It takes all kinds, after all. But I believe that most black people voted for him because they knew he could do the job and be black at the same time. I don't think most of us would've voted for a black George Bush. So it's a new era, and I think many of us who voted for him are going to watch him carefully. We're not going to stand behind everything he says just because. He might even be put up to stricter standards than anyone else would be, even by the black community. Maybe even especially by the black community. While they shouldn't, his actions will reflect on us. It doesn't go that way with the white presidents, but it will with him. He'll be under intense scrutiny by people just waiting to jump up at any mistakes he might make and point out how he wasn't fit to be president and how he was only voted in due to his skin color. There are always those who look at the actions of black people and make their snide comments about that being how black people are. How many people have said "There are so many black people in prison because blacks tend toward actions that put them there?" It's how we are to them, and they're waiting for the times they can point at President Obama and say "I told you so. See how they are?" Well, fuck them. If he turns out to be the shittiest president ever, it isn't because he's black, just like George Bush being the shittiest president ever isn't because he's white. It's because he's an ineffective idiot. While I don't see those qualities in Obama, if he shows them, it has nothing to do with his skin color. It has to do with his character. Maybe someday people will learn to separate the two. All right, there's my unwanted diatribe on politics. I need to grab a bite to eat and enjoy the last hours of this very historic day with the members of my family who are here. Spill -- Responses

[Thursday January 8th, 2009 at 7:09am ] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Ramon getting his things together ] So far the new year has gotten off to a smashing start. If you can't sense the sarcasm, it's there. I suppose it's not really that bad, except for the Mikel problems. Not going there is probably a good idea. Not only does he not want us to discuss it and drag people down since he's decided that people are probably sick to death of hearing about his down times, but I really don't know how to talk about it. I can go around and around with it, over and over, and I'll just be repeating myself. It never seems to get anyone anywhere, and I'm sure our saga probably gets a little old to those who read this. That's perfectly understandable, of course. Between all of us, including ras_pantheon, there are just a lot of stories that just aren't pleasant to read about. I'm sure it gets old, even to the most patient of people. You all do have your own lives, after all. We do appreciate the support you always give. Today just didn't get off to the best start, I suppose you could say. Someone slid on the ice around four o'clock, and we heard a crash outside. By the time any of us got there, the other car was gone, and the back end of mine was rather thoroughly crunched. It's very slick out there, so it's easy to see how someone could lose control of their car, but it pisses me off that whoever it was just left. There's probably a few hundred dollars worth of damage to my car, and chances are we'll never find out who did it. I'd rather we pay for it ourselves to prevent any insurance rate hikes. If I'd been able to park in the garage or driveway, this could have been prevented, but I've gotten stuck so many times due to a slight incline in the driveway that I decided just to part in front of the house. It was completely off the road as I parked partly on the lawn, but that wasn't good enough. I suppose this entry really isn't going anywhere good, so I'll end it. I need to have breakfast and make sure Ramon gets to school. Hopefully the day will get better. We'll see. Spill -- Responses 6

[Saturday December 20th, 2008 at 11:57am ] [ mood | predatory ] [ music | Penny humming again ] If I have to brush snow off of my front window again, I'm going to wring someone's neck. It seems like as soon as I get it cleaned off, someone has to come along and throw snowballs at someone else, resulting in more snow on the window. I'd rather it not freeze there, so I clean it off. Strangely, the culprits always seem to disappear before I can get out there to make them do it. Needless to say, people are enjoying the winter weather. Charlie was pushed to the edge of not liking it the other day after getting home after seven in the evening, but he's even-tempered enough to deal with it all right, even if he did end up off of the road for over almost two hours as he swerved to avoid an idiot who thought going the speed limit in all this ice and snow was a good idea. He called Mikel as he found himself unable to extract himself from the snowbank, and Mikel took a couple of others along to help dig him out. By the time they got back, I think Charlie was more than half frozen. I think Bait's probably been making pretty good money with this weather, though. There's a lot of snow shoveling to be done, and he's very good at keeping up on doing it. We have another winter storm warning from this evening through tomorrow, so he might just be making even more money. I think he'll have money to spare for Christmas presents. Penny's been busy having fun with her baking lately. She's been at it since eight this morning today, and she's been that way for a few days. She starts in the morning and goes on until evening, with just a few breaks in between. She's enjoying herself a great deal, and we make sure to have any ingredients she wants for whatever she wants to make on hand for her. The house constantly smells good, and everyone has an abundance of sweet things upon which to snack. It's adorable how she goes around humming Christmas songs as she fills the house with the scent of baked goods. She's never as happy as when she's making food. Puppet's getting some major cabin fever. There's no way he's chancing going outside, even when things are neatly shoveled. He certainly doesn't need to fall, as that might not only physically hurt him, but bruise his ego all the more. I don't think a day has gone by since he started living here that he hasn't had some form of bruise, cut, or other injury resulting from his inability to see. He's adjusting to it, but it's still slow going. I've been quite pleased with Isaac's progress lately. His hands have been improving slowly, although steadily, and that's a good sign. He still gets frustrated, but not nearly like he did before. Now if progress with his speech problems would be as steady, I'm sure his mood would greatly improve. He's desperately wanting to go back to work, but until he can communicate better, it's just not going to work. Patience isn't easy to come by. All right, there go more people with snowballs. I spotted Hacker, so at least I know one of the culprits this time around. I'll have to threaten him and get him to get his ass over here to clean off my window. Perhaps I'll let it freeze a little first and make more work for him. Lunchtime now, so I'll close this off. Merry Christmas to everyone. Spill -- Responses

[Wednesday December 10th, 2008 at 6:54am ] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | Penny ] Damn, what a night. I might have managed an hour of sleep overall, but it's difficult to say. It came in spurts. Not only did I get a record breaking six calls from my mother, needing one thing or another and for some reason feeling it was necessary to call me about it, but Penny had a bad dream that woke her with a scream, and Puppet ran into the Christmas tree, breaking a glass ornament and then stepping on it with one of his bare feet. Somehow, Isaac slept through all of this. I have no idea how. He usually wakes before I do when things go wrong. I wonder if he sneaked earplugs into his ears when I wasn't looking. I'll have to ask. Penny never was able to go back to sleep, the poor thing. She was too afraid to close her eyes, and then she got caught up with helping with Puppet. He hasn't run into it before, but it looks like it was accidentally moved a couple of feet because of the abrupt movement of the table near it. That's all it took to send him stepping into it. A few other ornaments fell, but just the one broke, which wasn't good for his foot. We spent almost half an hour using the tweezers to pull out little shards of glass from his foot. It didn't cut the foot too bad, luckily, but there are quite a few little cuts which can't feel good. Trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault was quite a chore, and I'm not sure we accomplished it. I think it was actually Markez who moved the table. I vaguely remember him running into it when he came over here for refuge yesterday afternoon. As for my mother, well, I almost drove over and throttled the woman. She apparently didn't want to bother Alyce, who had that shift watching her, since Alyce was having fun watching Christmas DVDs. So she had to call me, and I had to call Alyce on her cell phone to get her moving to help her grandmother. Talk about frustration. My mother with insomnia is not a pretty sight, and she absolutely refused to take anything for it. I'm hoping that today will be less annoying and chaotic. I have the next shift with my mother, which starts in an hour, and I'm not looking forward to it. She shouldn't be either. I don't run as well as those with actual Denny blood on so little sleep. I get cranky. I suppose she's the perfect person on which to take it out then. All right. Penny is serving up breakfast, and I'm famished. I need something hot and comforting to steel me for the day ahead. Spill -- Responses

[Saturday November 29th, 2008 at 5:35pm ] [ mood | satisfied ] [ music | Christmas music, of course. ] Now that the chaos of Thanksgiving is over, I thought I'd take a few minutes to make my post. It seems like as much work goes into the aftermath of the day as goes into preparing everything beforehand. But at least cleanup duties mostly went to those who didn't take part in the actual cooking, so it evened out. After the food fight that occurred, there was much more cleanup than there might otherwise be, but the fact that most of those who participated in that were ones who were going to have to clean up anyway made it all work out. My mother was somewhat of a pain through it all. She seems to get crankier everyday. Mikel and others who she tends to target more often sat well away from her, so that did make a difference. She did make comments occasionally when people passed by, but the fact that everyone agreed to try to ignore her was a big help. That's the best way to deal with her, much like it is with a two year old throwing a tantrum. There are a few resemblances there that I won't go into. Today was spent decorating, at least in part. Penny seems to get more excited about Christmas every year. We started outside after buying some lights and a few things for the yard, all of which we let Penny choose. She tried so hard to not go overboard, but it was easy to see that it was difficult for her. Mikel and Charlie came over to help set things up, with Bait coming a little later after finishing up at the duplex, and now it's looking very nice out there. It's too bad that the snow went away. We can hope that we get more soon. We'll be going later in the week to pick out a tree and get ornaments and the like for it. Our decorations are at our house in Colorado, so we have to start anew with that. It should be fun to set Penny loose at the store to pick things out. She'll enjoy that very much, I'm sure. We're going to have to make sure to give Puppet the rundown on where things are once we get them up so he doesn't get disoriented and have a problem with it. Maybe the excitement of Christmas will infect him. We can hope so. He could use some of that. I think I'll sign off now and get Isaac to making his post so he doesn't forget. I'm sure he'll be grateful for the reminder. Spill -- Responses

[Wednesday November 5th, 2008 at 1:02am ] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | "I have a dream" playing in my head ] I suppose it was inevitable that I post after the election. Whichever way it went, I'd want to put something up. The tone of entry was, of course, determined as soon as the new President-elect was announced. It's hard to put into words just how I feel about it. It's obviously a time of monumental emotion for the black community. It had to be. A dream was realized tonight, a dream that millions of black people throughout the generations has dreamed. Not only was a black man elected to the highest office possible, but it's a black man whose proposed policies and goals could mean real change for us all. It's not just about blacks, but about people from all walks of life. I sincerely feel that this step that we've taken will do a world of good for everyone. It's not because of the color of his skin, although frankly, that is a very big thing to many of us. We've been striving for generations to be given the opportunity to be treated as equals, and we've hit so many brick walls that our noses have been bloodied countless times. But still, we've gone on. Still we've pushed and climbed and reached for what's been denied us since the beginning of our time in this country. While our position in society has evolved and become less "inferior," it's still been inferior. Many like to pretend that we're treated just as fairly, just as equally, as any white person, but that's not been the truth of the matter. The election of Barack Obama is not going to just end the inequality immediately and completely. It's a step, just like so many steps before it. But it's the biggest step that's been taken, and it's encouraging. While people have tried to make race a non-issue in this election, it's always been an issue to some of us. Many believe that most black people voted for Obama because he is black, and that it doesn't matter what he stands for. That's bullshit. I, and pretty much every black person I've talked to about the subject, have found myself putting Obama under far more scrutiny than I have other candidates in other elections. I've been harder on him and expected more than I ever have before. Every little thing that could be considered suspect, every little flaw, is something I checked into and thought about long and hard. The reason for this is simple. While it thrills so many black people beyond belief to put a black man in the highest office, it's also a frightening prospect. What if we went too easy on him? What if we got behind this man and gave him our support and pushed for him to get to that office only to find out that he's not the man we need him to be? What if we voted him in and found out that he's really incompetent or ineffective or even evil? What would that do to race relations? Where would the rest of us end up? I'm going to watch him carefully. I'm going to hope with all my might that he's the man that I truly think he is. I'm going to be a hardass, just like I always am. This is necessary in my mind, because he's representing me, and he's representing my husband and my kids and my grandkids and every single black person in the country. If he fucks up, where will we be then? Barack Obama ran on a platform of hope and change. He was elected on this platform, and I expect him to live up to that. I believe that he will. He knows that he's being watched by the spirits of countless numbers of those who fought and died and fell along the way, from the first slaves to people like Frederick Douglass and W.E.B. Dubois and Marcus Garvey, Ida B. Wells, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., and so many others. If he dishonors his office, he dishonors all of them, and all of us. That's a lot of pressure for one man. But I think he can handle it. The dream is no longer deferred. It's been realized. Now we can expand on it and dream for more. The sky's the limit. Spill -- Responses

[Friday October 17th, 2008 at 7:44pm ] [ mood | curious ] [ music | Ramon getting homework help from Isaac ] I've decided that it's more exhausting to take care of a 76 year old woman than it is to take care of four kids, even if one of those kids is Mikel. He at least wasn't demanding and insistent on everything being a certain way. After I'm done with her, I feel like I've gone ten rounds with Muhammed Ali. Alyce is with her now, and will be with her at least until she goes to sleep. At least she doesn't have as difficult a time as most of us, although a large part of me wishes she would. After all, she got us into this mess. On the bright side, which came for only a short span of time, she was quite reserved for hours the day that Dusk took a shift watching her. We showed up to find her seated in her recliner watching news programs, and she hardly said a word through the day, not raising her voice once until an hour or so after dark. She obviously won't tell us anything about it, and Dusk won't answer when anyone asks him what happened. He looked rather victorious when he left that day, but still would say nothing, which is no surprise. Although I suppose he might have said something to Jumanji about it since they're good friends. I might have to ask Jumanji. He's not nearly as good at staying quiet about things. I want to know what Dusk did. Perhaps we can copy it and get the same results. I doubt it, but it's worth knowing anyway. Penny refuses to go back to that house. This is very unusual behavior for her, but it really doesn't surprise me too much. She's very empathetic, and she felt very bad for Bullshit. I'm sure she'll go back eventually, but apparently she doesn't lose anger all that easily. It's good she doesn't feel it very often, then. It at least doesn't affect much beyond her desire to be around my mother. She's perfectly fine other times, so long as the woman isn't brought up in the conversation. Speaking of Penny, she's been wanting to go shopping for a few things for the kitchen, so I'm going to go take her to the store. She does love buying new things to use in the kitchen, and refusing her is next to impossible, especially since she asks for so little. Spill -- Responses

[Thursday August 28th, 2008 at 6:51am ] [ music | Penny calling me for breakfast. ] I've decided that I don't know how well equipped I am to handle adults with whom I am not related with serious problems. It's probably a very good thing that Gayle is the one who does most of this sort of thing, because I feel terribly lost at times. Puppet's been having quite a hard time lately, and I'm not sure how best to deal with it. He's been trying very hard to compensate for his lack of sight, but he's focused so much on the fact that he can't see that he's having a very difficult time concentrating on the things he can do. This gives him no end of frustration, and that frustration comes in the form of holes in the wall and glass shards in his hand when he doesn't realize that the wall he's punching has a mirror attached to it. Sometimes it seems like he's just hanging on by a thread, and I don't know how to strengthen that. He has been trying, and rather hard, but even if he manages some progress, he loses it when something happens to frustrate him again. It's all quite a challenge for everyone. In other, better news, Isaac has been working on a Lego project. He has to take it a little at a time, but he's managed to build it up to about eight inches high, and about as wide. It's the best he's done in a long time, so I'm definitely hopeful. The longer he manages to work on it without dropping something or knocking something with his hands, the more he manages to do out of pure determination. It does my heart good to watch him with this. Now I'm going to go get some breakfast and hopefully have a quieter day than yesterday. Spill -- Responses 5

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